tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9312290537853145432024-02-21T02:26:11.940-05:00Periodic Boundary ConditionsUnderstanding materials science and engineering from the trenches of graduate schoolMiss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.comBlogger188125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-12865025819561966402015-03-24T13:35:00.000-04:002015-03-24T13:35:38.327-04:00Other side of defensePending a little paperwork, I am now Doctor Materials Science! I still have some fairly minor revisions to do, and a whole lot of data curation, not to mention paper writing. Unsuprisingly, there was just no way to get everything through my advisor's queue before funding-imposed deadlines. At least this way, he's actually looked at the body of data, and we can talk about what goes in the papers *first*, and then spend the many hours writing them all.<br />
<br />
<br />
But I'm trying to not let the sense of relief at being done let me give up on getting things changed. I'm compiling a list of dates from emails before scheduling meetings with our new department chair and Associate Dean of Graduate Education about what's happened to me, and why I think the annual review process is so incredibly important to follow up on. It should never be more than 12 months before your advisor even *opens* the file for the draft you sent. Because the annual reviews are still a very new process for many departments, I really want to help the people who enforce them to understand the kinds of things we wanted them for.<br />
<br />
So what's next?<br />
<br />
On the job front, getting a SMART scholarship wrapped that up pretty neatly. I have a two year contract, after which I can choose to continue working at my sponsoring facility, move within the DoD, or simply move on. I'll be moving from atomistic simulations to being the materials person in a mechanical engineering/ finite element modeling group. It looks like I will also be able to pursue some multiscale modeling projects, and there are mechanisms for internal research grants to run my own projects.<br />
<br />
Working for the DoD means I won't be going to many conferences for a while, which is a major complication in looking for faculty jobs, if I decide that government labs aren't a good fit for me. It's also going to limit how many papers I can publish, because, well, it's the DoD... However, I want a more teaching-oriented position (not because I think they're less work, because I love teaching). My graduate experience has been limited in terms of opportunities for teaching.<br />
<br />
So I'm planning to do a series of YouTube tutorials for Intro to MSE type classes. I've heard from many students that there is a real lack of resources in our field, and that sometimes, they just need a different explanation than the one in the book. It doesn't help that the vast majority of these classes use books by the same author, nationwide. It's a good book, but doesn't help these kinds of students, and an awful lot of Wikipedia entries are paraphrase or straight up plagiarizing these same texts.<br />
<br />
What next for this space?<br />
<br />
Frankly, I don't know. It's been a handy place to rant about the stupidity of things for awhile. But I want my tutorials to be associated with my real name, so I can use them for job applications, and I don't really want it all tied back to the whinging. Ranting about the stupidity of the DoD in any public forum, pseudonymous or not, seems, well, stupid. There will probably be more posts about the papers process with my PI. But I will probably let it slowly drift away into the depths of internet memory, not unlike my high school LiveJournal...Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-74622083761051351042015-03-08T19:26:00.003-04:002015-03-08T19:26:46.878-04:00Just... sigh.Friday morning "I'll have Chapter 3 to you in a few hours"<br />
<br />
This apparently means more than 48 hours. Of radio silence. Despite multiple emails asking for any update, verification he hadn't been hit by a bus, anything really.<br />
<br />
I can see the time stamps from track changes. Even accounting for being in a different time zone, there's no way he really believed that time line.<br />
<br />
Or else he's even more self-delusional than I thought.<br />
<br />
This is the way my thesis ends, not with a bang but a whimper.<br />
<br />Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-36506931168649155132015-03-03T12:23:00.004-05:002015-03-03T12:23:54.840-05:00Same old, same old...Thesis chapters are supposed to be sent to my committee this Friday. I've gotten feedback on 1 of 5. My advisor is in Europe. Yep. Unrealiable to the very end...Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-89336119560230218882014-12-09T23:36:00.001-05:002014-12-09T23:36:03.106-05:00On Faculty HiringCan selecting the wrong thesis topic be the difference between getting a faculty job and not? I am working on an area which I find very interesting, but that doesn't really fit the buzzword categories necessary to get published in glamor mags. Yet, it seems like everyone I talk to mentions the importance of impact factor in publications when you're looking to apply for jobs. It feels very much like picking a hot topic when you first enter grad school, and may therefore have no idea what the hot topics in your field actually are, is critical to succeeding in this crazy game. <div><br></div><div>Of course, there are always compounding circumstances, but it isn't very reassuring to hear the head of your departments current search committee say that they're only considering applicants with at least one Nature or Science paper. Then again, my particular MRU is well known for having a major prestige boner. </div><div><br></div><div>Last week's conference left me feeling very mixed about where I stand right now, and where I want to go next. I love my field, but after spending two years in the DoD, my publication record isn't going to be spectacular (for very obvious reasons), and I worry. Of course, that could just be the cold-induced insomnia talking. </div><div><br></div><div>Colds, my favorite conference souvenir...</div>Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-27592738352450116672014-11-04T09:02:00.001-05:002014-11-04T09:02:25.544-05:00Progress: Day 3So I've learned some things about how Microsoft Word's word count tool works, and may wind up re-adjusting my goals. For example, it counts every entry in a table of numbers. It also deals very oddly with symbols and equations.<br />
<br />
November 3rd:<br />
<br />
Starting Metrics:<br />
Ch. 1 -820<br />
Ch. 2 - 1,943<br />
Ch. 3 - 1,480<br />
Ch. 4 - 873<br />
Ch. 5 - 41<br />
Ch. 6 - 7<br />
---------------<br />
5,165<br />
<br />
Paper 1 (Ch. 1) - 5,504<br />
Paper 2 (Ch. 3) - 1,102<br />
Paper 3 (Ch. 3) - 1,635<br />
Paper 4 (Ch. 4) - 2,906 {currently in advisor limbo}<br />
Paper 5 (Ch. 4) - 1,222<br />
Paper 6 (Ch. 5) - 155<br />
Paper 7 (not even slightly related to my thesis) - 1,811<br />
-------------------------------<br />
14,376<br />
<br />
<br />
The papers relevant to Chapter 2 are already written, and hence are not included in the totals (but total 7,764 words, which may help Ch. 2 expand a bit more quickly)<br />
<br />
Thesis Meter:<br />
<br />
<div style="margin: auto; text-align: center; width: 30%;" title="16.85%">
<div style="background: #DDDDDD; border: solid 1px #AAAAAA; font-size: 0px; line-height: 0px; margin: 2px auto; overflow: hidden; text-align: left;">
<div style="background: #1D3D8D; font-size: 0px; height: 5px; line-height: 0px; max-width: 16.85%; min-width: 0%; width: 16.85%;">
<!----></div>
</div>
<div style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 8pt;">
1685 / 10000</div>
<span style="text-align: left;"><br /></span>
<span style="text-align: left;"><br /></span>
<span style="text-align: left;">Paper Meter:</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="margin: auto; text-align: center; width: 30%;" title="2.86%">
<div style="background: #DDDDDD; border: solid 1px #AAAAAA; font-size: 0px; line-height: 0px; margin: 2px auto; overflow: hidden; text-align: left;">
<div style="background: #1D3D8D; font-size: 0px; height: 5px; line-height: 0px; max-width: 2.86%; min-width: 0%; width: 2.86%;">
<!----></div>
</div>
<div style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 8pt;">
143 / 5000</div>
</div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-52886998599498813422014-10-30T12:39:00.001-04:002014-10-30T12:39:11.883-04:00NaThesisWriMo?So if you have friends who write fiction, you've probably heard of National Novel Writing Month, NaNoWriMo, where they all try to write 50,000 words during the month of November. Why November? Because the people who started it wanted to take advantage of the more miserable weather. Fair enough.<br />
<br />
To help motivate myself, I've decided to adapt the concept for thesis/paper writing. 50,000 words is probably longer than my entire thesis should be (50,000 words ~ 200 double spaced pages without figures). Instead, I'm setting my goals as adding 10,000 words to my thesis, and an additional 5,000 words in papers. I'm also going to *gasp* update the blog with progress reports. (References are not included in the word counts). Unlike the actual NaNoWriMo, there's no prizes, other than things being done. Which is a pretty awesome prize.<br />
<br />
Starting Metrics:<br />
Ch. 1 - 561<br />
Ch. 2 - 1,650<br />
Ch. 3 - 1,185<br />
Ch. 4 - 36<br />
Ch. 5 - 41<br />
Ch. 6 - 7<br />
---------------<br />
3,480<br />
<br />
Paper 1 (Ch. 1) - 5,504<br />
Paper 2 (Ch. 3) - 1,102<br />
Paper 3 (Ch. 3) - 1,635<br />
Paper 4 (Ch. 4) - 2,906 {currently in advisor limbo}<br />
Paper 5 (Ch. 4) - 1,222<br />
Paper 6 (Ch. 5) - 155<br />
Paper 7 (not even slightly related to my thesis) - 1,811<br />
-------------------------------<br />
14,335<br />
<br />
<br />
The papers relevant to Chapter 2 are already written, and hence are not included in the totals (but total 7,764 words, which may help Ch. 2 expand a bit more quickly)<br />
<br />
Thesis Meter:<br />
<br />
<div style="margin: auto; text-align: center; width: 30%;" title="0.00%">
<div style="background: #DDDDDD; border: solid 1px #AAAAAA; font-size: 0px; line-height: 0px; margin: 2px auto; overflow: hidden; text-align: left;">
<div style="background: #1D3D8D; font-size: 0px; height: 5px; line-height: 0px; max-width: 0.00%; min-width: 0%; width: 0.00%;">
<!----></div>
</div>
<div style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 8pt;">
0 / 10000 (0.00%)</div>
</div>
<br />
Paper Meter:<br />
<div style="margin: auto; text-align: center; width: 30%;" title="0.00%">
<div style="background: #DDDDDD; border: solid 1px #AAAAAA; font-size: 0px; line-height: 0px; margin: 2px auto; overflow: hidden; text-align: left;">
<div style="background: #1D3D8D; font-size: 0px; height: 5px; line-height: 0px; max-width: 0.00%; min-width: 0%; width: 0.00%;">
<!----></div>
</div>
<div style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 8pt;">
0 / 5000 (0.00%)<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-16852236250464142392014-01-24T09:02:00.000-05:002014-01-24T09:02:09.900-05:00Downsides of FellowshipsSo it's been nearly a year since I wrote anything. Not much has really changed, and I just didn't feel like repeating myself. I did get a SMART fellowship in the end, but it's a mixed blessing.<br />
<br />
You see, this week, one of the students who started in my group at the same time as I did defended. Mostly because our advisor ran out of funding for him, and he had enough to constitute a thesis. I'm really happy to see someone graduate, but it's been frustrating as well. In the rush to get this student out the door, they've worked on three papers, while one of mine continues to languish in my advisor's inbox. I'm hoping this is not another 2 year wait... I've got proof that he can be functional, when forced to be, just no force.<br />
<br />
Because I'm funded, I'm no longer a priority. There are no external forces to make my advisor read my papers right now. So instead of defending soon, the scope of my projects just got a little bigger, so he can justify keeping me until the funding runs out. In the meantime, I stay firmly at the bottom of his reading list. Motivating yourself to write papers under these conditions is damn hard, but I'm trying. Me working harder/faster won't change my graduation date. Writing more papers won't even get me papers any faster.<br />
<br />
I just want feedback. But apparently that's too much to ask.<br />
<br />Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-18800330765146484252013-04-10T11:41:00.001-04:002013-04-10T11:41:48.713-04:00I'm Not Dead Yet!Just not in position to vent to the internet and too busy to put together good science posts.<br />
<br />
I *finally* heard back from the SMART program, and interviewed with two groups at my top choice DoD facility. Now I get to wait for the budget fairies to tell them whether or not they actually have the money to take on a student. This may create some drama, since I'd already been offered an university internal fellowship for next year, but I suppose it's a good problem to have. I'm keeping my fingers crossed hard: the SMART program would give me a fixed end date I *must* graduate by, from someone who can actually force my advisor to meet the deadline (i.e., the people who fund over half of my research group).<br />
<br />
In other news, one of the groups I'm in is working on a proposal for how to change the evaluation of PhD students at my institution, such that there is actually an annual evaluation and goal setting process for all students. I'm pretty optimistic. We've got a new dean who is willing to take this on as one of his pet issues and push the faculty.<br />
<br />
The oldest student in my group looks like he will finally defend in August or September, bringing the number of students I've seen graduate up to the number of students I've seen leave.<br />
<br />
All in all, I'm feeling more hopeful that I will manage to graduate someday.Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-5689117136311734762013-02-28T12:23:00.000-05:002013-02-28T14:55:14.365-05:00Sequesters and Other Forms of StressLife in my research group is grumpy at the best of times, but recently, it feels like someone turned the stress knob to 11. My advisor has been struggling to write successful proposals for a couple cycles in a row now (for many, many reasons I'm not going into here), and consequently, money is running out fast. There's one student he's basically trying to shove out the door by September, but at least three of us are completely up in the air come September.<br />
<br />
I applied for external funding in the form of the SMART scholarship, but 9% cuts to the Department of Defense are probably going to lead to drastically reduced funding rates this cycle. Given that the majority of the group's research funding is also DoD based, this do not look good.<br />
<br />
I also really have no idea what my advisor expects to consider me "done". I'm working on so many unrelated projects, it's hard to see a coherent thesis direction. Every time I ask if I can focus on one project, the response is "Let me think about it, but in the mean time keep up with all of them" or if he says I can set aside one project, one month later he'll have forgotten and be demanding new data.<br />
<br />
Add to that his general communication problems, and everyone is worried. It feels like the research group is about to collapse at any moment, and we're going to be the casualties. And there's nothing we can really do until we know what's actually happening.<br />
<br />
<br />
Edit:because I can't spell when stressed, apparentlyMiss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-25978015379650303672013-01-31T16:32:00.004-05:002013-01-31T16:32:34.860-05:00Learning From Negative Example IV:See previous installments: <a href="http://missmse.blogspot.com/2012/02/learning-from-negative-examples.html" target="_blank">I</a>, <a href="http://missmse.blogspot.com/2012/04/learning-from-negative-examples-part-ii.html" target="_blank">II</a> and <a href="http://missmse.blogspot.com/2012/05/learning-from-negative-example-part-iii.html" target="_blank">III</a><br />
<br />
<b>Sometimes, you just have to let one thing go in the name of getting three more things done</b><br />
When a student has graduated and is completely noncommunicative about a manuscript, and you have another student who is still here *begging* you to read their papers, maybe spend some time on the project more likely to bear immediate fruit?<br />
<br />
<b>Tell students about deadlines</b><br />
Yes, we should all be working hard all of the time. But there is a research equivalent of a sprint, which cannot be maintained for the length of a marathon. If you tell me about deadlines more than a day in advance, I can ramp up effort on the related project accordingly. I can't read your mind.<br />
<br />
<b>Don't get so caught up in details you miss the big picture</b><br />
When you read a paper, read for content first, and then read for style and grammar. If it's not truly awful, give feedback on the science first (since that's what takes the most time for us). Don't be afraid to hand it back and say "Get someone else to read this" or "Reread this and try again" instead of nitpicking every sentence. When you ask for ideas for projects, don't get obsessed on one detail to the point of refusing to listen to further ideas (especially when we're telling you that what you want to do is impossible).<br />
<br />
<b>There's overselling, and then there's promising them a flying pink pony </b><br />
I get that grants need to be impressive, but when you promise to send someone to the moon with pocket change, the reviewers are going to reject you because you clearly don't know what you're doing.Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-7679021549532663462013-01-08T11:18:00.000-05:002013-01-08T11:18:02.745-05:00Escaping the Echo Chamber<a href="http://chemjobber.blogspot.com/2013/01/is-graduate-school-in-chemistry-bad-for.html">Chemjobber</a> and <a href="http://notthelab.blogspot.com/2013/01/is-graduate-school-in-chemistry-bad-for.html">Vinylogous</a> are having an interesting conversation about mental health in chemistry graduate programs, much of which is directly applicable to my own experiences. The comments show I'm certainly not alone in having a neglectful advisor who then occasionally smothers me with attention. In the comments, there's also a lot of talk of the need for institutional support systems.<br />
<br />
I've found that far and away, the most important thing I can do for my mental health is this:<i> <b>talk to people who aren't in grad school. </b></i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Talking to other grad students tends to devolve into pissing matches of who has the worst advisor (with smug thumb twiddling from the few with good advisors). While it can be cathartic on occasion, it gets very dark and depressing to spend that much time focusing on the negative parts of grad school. It's also *really* depressing when other people are complaining about something, and you're just thinking "Wow! They get feedback! I wish I got feedback!".<br />
<br />
Frankly, I'm in a much better place emotionally than I was at this time last year. Nothing has really changed about my advisor or the stresses in my working environment. We finally got the first paper out, but reviewer data killed the next three I'd written, so that's a wash.<br />
<br />
Now, I have a much better group of friends who have nothing whatsoever to do with grad school. I have a weekly craft night (aka Stitch and Bitch night), and belly dance classes. It really helps me put grad school back in perspective. I have fairly flexible hours, in that I'm not forced to work third-shift. As a computationalist, I can work remotely if I want to (and don't need certain software licenses...) It's also a nice ego boost to be considered smart again, instead of average at best.<br />
<br />
I still have stress-triggers that can turn me into a wreck, such as having multiple people ask me "So when are you graduating?" in too short of a time frame, and thinking about how slowly my advisor reads is a good way to get me in a destructive mood. But guess what? These topics come up rather less often when you're not talking about school.<br />
<br />
Of course, there are other coping mechanism, like finding other mentors for feedback, and solo hobbies, and whatnot, but sometimes, you just need to escape the echo chamber.<br />
<br />
<br />Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-60012018722753251362012-12-17T09:46:00.000-05:002012-12-17T09:46:09.178-05:00Grad School LimboI have been a very negligent blogger this semester. It's hard to find anything new to write about at this point. Research is progressing, though slower than I might hope. My advisor hasn't changed, but I'm trying to avoid whinging about it on the internet. Days sort of run together without any regularly scheduled breaks or meetings.<br />
<br />
I made a wiki for my research group, plus a personal webpage. After a week of playing with CSS templates, I'm now even more appalled at my department's webpage. I'm pretty sure students apply in spite of our web presence.<br />
<br />
Maybe Christmas will give me a chance to reboot and come back at least a little motivated. Right now, motivation is hard to find...<br />
<br />Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-57006941014178937032012-10-25T15:29:00.001-04:002012-10-25T15:29:07.547-04:00Planning Ahead and Writing As You GoSo even though I'm probably 2-ish years from graduating (plus some very large error bars on that number), I've started writing bits and pieces of my thesis. Not just in the sense that I'm writing manuscripts, which I'm also working on, but in that I'm trying to plot out the larger story I'm trying to tell. I also want to right everything down while I still remember why I did it in a particular way.<br />
<br />
My advisor seems confused whenever I mention this approach. He's very strongly in the camp of write the papers, and copy-paste to make a thesis. Given his <a href="http://missmse.blogspot.com/2012/06/at-long-last.html">reading habits</a>, it does mean fewer things he has to read, which is good for getting anything out the door. However, at this point, many of my results are of the "and this approach didn't work" variety. Not necessarily paper material, but things I feel should be documented for future students in the group. A quick poll of Twitter seems to indicate that the thesis is a good place to include this sort of thing, and it can always be deleted when you go to do the manuscript. Of course, according to the comments at <a href="http://scientopia.org/blogs/genrepair/2012/10/12/1387/">GenomicRepairman</a>, it seems unlikely hypothetical future students are going to read it anyway.<br />
<br />
I also like looking at the bigger picture, because it gives me a sense of things I've *done*, not just the giant list of things I still need to do. When I'm in the writing mood, I'm trying to write up methods sections and working on piecing together background sections as I read. It also helps me plan, and find the holes in my story I need to fill.<br />
<br />
What approach did you take (or are you taking) to thesis writing?<br />
<br />Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-88662113886031363032012-10-09T17:05:00.001-04:002012-10-09T17:05:52.537-04:00Being Smart Doesn't Mean You Can't Be Dumb TooPLS has a post up, <a href="http://scientopia.org/blogs/proflikesubstance/2012/10/09/im-too-smart-to-end-up-like-that/">"I'm too smart to end up like that"</a>. Man, did that hit a little too close to home. As I've probably made abundantly clear, I am not in a good advising situation. It's one of the major factors that drove me into blogging. As of last week, more students from my group have quit grad school than graduated which is NOT typical for my department. Nor were any of these of the "I just don't belong in grad school" variety. Two of the students had been here for 5+ years and had at least one paper before finally leaving, and they weren't subtle about their reasons.<br />
<br />
In my second year, I was seriously contemplating leaving. Senior students (one of whom ended up leaving) told me to switch groups while I still could. I had fellowship money, anyone would take me. But I had what I thought was four papers worth of data, and I didn't want to leave that much data. Well, two years later, my advisor finally read the first manuscript, and the reviews come back with a reference which effectively killed the next three papers. It's very easy for me to look back and say I should have left then.<br />
<br />
But when you join a group, you have to be optimistic. You have to assume that the students who are willing to voice issues have personality conflicts with their advisors, because many times, that's the truth. You can't start assuming failure, or it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Until you find conclusive evidence to the contrary, you assume things will work. And as time goes on, you know certain things are lies, but you hope for once they won't be. "I'll get to it next week." "We'll meet soon." "Our collaborators will send us the code later this week." Because the alternatives are depression, or leaving, and where are you going to go?<br />
<br />
The realities of Ph.D funding and departmental politics can make it very difficult to jump ship by the time you've been in a group long enough to have real problems. There may be 30 professors in your department, but half of them are doing projects you are absolutely uninterested in or have no background in. Most of the remaining professors have no more funding, depending on the time of year, or have proposals submitted without any firm cash in hand. Then there's the professors who are too buddy-buddy with your old boss. If you take can take a Master's and change universities, you may have to go through course requirements and qualifying exams all over again. Sometimes, you can change departments within a university, but courses and quals still present a very large obstacle.<br />
<br />
There are days when I think I am very, very stupid for continuing with my advisor. But there are also days when I look at the data, and realize that I've done good work, and if I can nag him into reading it, I will put out good papers. I enjoy my project (most days) and think my research is interesting. I'm not in a position that's threatening my safety. And frankly, I don't have the willpower to start over in another group.<br />
<br />
Your advisor doesn't have to be blatantly abusive to end up in a very bad situation. It may not even be noticeable until a year or two in, when you notice the student who has to do "just one more experiment" or "just one more paper" before they graduate. It can be simply always having you as one of their lowest priorities. And it's much harder to notice until it's too late.<br />
<br />
And maybe the students in PLS's course will scoff and say they're too smart to end up like me. Maybe they're right. But sometimes, being smart does nothing to prevent you from making bad or unlucky choices.Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-41926864392216345282012-10-02T10:35:00.000-04:002012-10-02T10:35:09.724-04:00Finding MotivationThis weekend, there was a recruitment event for high school students looking at GiantU. Departments put on demonstrations and do brief presentations about why we're awesome. I volunteered to help with the demos, along with a bunch of undergrads. The undergrads were all very self-conscious, and asked me to do most of the talk.<br />
<br />
When I don't do it for awhile, I forget how much I really enjoy teaching. While TAing this year is out, because I'm still on fellowship, I'm going to try and convince my advisor to let me TA again in the fall (generally, students only teach once, unless their advisor has no money or they're switching groups). Teaching reminds me why I'm doing this in the first place.<br />
<br />
Another senior student has left the group instead of graduating. I've now seen more people walk out on my advisor than graduate. Needless to say, morale is low around here. But we're doing what we can to keep each other motivated. There be almost no overlap between projects, but having someone ask questions that make you think is still a source of motivation. There's a sort of grim determination of "it won't be me". Now, if I could just get code to do what I want it to do...<br />
<br />
<br />Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-58113784783715583972012-09-27T10:44:00.000-04:002012-09-27T10:44:39.716-04:00In The Darkest Part of the TunnelI've been feeling burned out lately. The manuscript finally got published. I don't have a candidacy exam to prepare for, I don't have any talks in the immediate future, no classes or deadlines of any sort. I've looked at the upcoming abstract submissions, and I can't see any symposia my research fits in. And for me, this is a very stressful state.<br />
<br />
I know I have to keep my nose to the grindstone, but there's no light at the end of the tunnel right now. I have no real concept of when I'm going to graduate (2 years, +/- 1 is a heck of a window), and there's no date that tells me "if you make it to this date, you'll be *done* with something". My to-do list never seems to get shorter, I just keep finding things to add to it.<br />
<br />
My mom and I are going to visit her relatives who live in a very rural area soon, which will hopefully give me a chance to reboot my brain, since there's no feasible way to work remotely from there. I'm also planning on leaving my laptop behind, for good measure. I don't think I've ever been so excited to go somewhere with sub-56kB/s dial-up.<br />
<br />
<br />Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-85022375242715012522012-09-24T15:07:00.000-04:002012-09-24T15:07:17.557-04:00Reading Outside Your SubfieldRight now, I'm writing a review for myself of very related theories in two different materials systems. However, until very recently, there was fairly little overlap between the scientists who studied these two systems, and it shows in reviewing these papers. In one system, they started with empirical fits of data, and drifted to a more precise mathematical approach, whereas the other material started with math and has slowly been correcting to account for experimental results. The most interesting part is when both sides come up with the same result, and just have a different name.<br />
<br />
It reminds me of the paper several years ago when medical students <a href="http://fliptomato.wordpress.com/2007/03/19/medical-researcher-discovers-integration-gets-75-citations/">rediscovered integration</a>.<br />
<br />
<br />
Materials science is one of those boundary fields, with significant overlap with a number of fields, so I've always been encouraged to look at papers, even from unfamiliar journals. I've also made an effort to take classes outside of my departmental comfort zone (which has been rather helpful during this review). It also tends to mean I do a lot more reading than my friends in say, EE.<br />
<br />
How many times have we reinvented wheels because we only read what we thought was directly relevant to our subfield?Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-71139912650523288372012-09-13T10:29:00.001-04:002012-09-13T10:29:37.314-04:00Ignoring WarningsThe semester is ramping up quickly, and the new grad students are quickly sorting themselves out. The only first-year student we got this year worked for the lab as an undergrad, so he had an idea of what he was walking into. Hopefully. More confusing is a grad student looking to switch groups who seems to be seriously considering my group even though 1) there's no secure funding and 2) she's listened to all the stories I've told here and more beside.<br />
<br />
On the other hand, when I was a wee little graduate student, one of our former group member told me "Run. Take your fellowship money and run." At the time, I just assumed she was bitter because the equipment never worked, etc., but I realize now that she really was trying to help me. I think stubbornness is really a trait of most graduate students, though, and there's a tendency to assume that we are right until explicitly proven wrong.<br />
<br />
What warnings from others did you ignore?<br />
<br />
<br />Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-13545635910691531592012-09-04T14:56:00.004-04:002012-09-04T14:56:59.102-04:00Happy Academic New Year!The new academic year has arrived at my institution, and it's an odd one for me. I'm not involved in courses at all, I personally have no conferences coming up in the next semester, and The Project That Wouldn't Die has pretty much been killed, unless I can get an Igor to help me resurrect it (which might be worth it for the papers...) For the first time in my graduate career, I get what I've always wanted: time to work on my thesis project without other things to do. Now, I just have to figure out what to do with all that time.<br />
<br />
Summer has been tumultuous. We finally submitted the manuscript, and got mostly positive reviews, but the reviews sent us experimental data from a small German society journal which disagreed with our results. That manuscript is accepted, but it's killed 2 papers I'd already written. I thought my abstract had been accepted to the MRS fall meeting as an invited talk, but it turned out <a href="http://missmse.blogspot.com/2012/08/on-pis-giving-talks.html">my advisor forgot to mention it had been turned into his talk</a>.<br />
<br />
I'm just starting my 4th year, in a group that averages 6 years to completion. I've already outlined my thesis chapters, and started writing methodology and introductions as much as I can. My biggest worry is that in a year, my PI is going to completely change his vision for my thesis from what was in my proposal, and most of that will be wasted. He ideally wants the thesis to be fleshed out papers, but I want it to be a coherent and connected story. What makes a good paper isn't necessarily the same thing that will allow me to piece together all of the different aspects of my research.<br />
<br />
Happily, my advisor is letting me do my own DFT for this project, instead of getting one of the DFT experts in the group to run it and give me results. I'm actually getting to do most of the major forms of atomistic simulation for this project, which is cool, though occasionally overwhelming.<br />
<br />
But, in the spirit of new years, I'm setting myself some goals:<br />
<br />
1) Complain less about my advisor. It doesn't change him and it rarely makes me feel better.<br />
2) Get the next two papers onto his desk<br />
3) Go over my thesis outline with my PI<br />
4) Complete drafts of the first three thesis chapters I have planned by this time next year (subject to change according to the results of 3)<br />
5) Write a really excellent letter of recommendation for Minion, who is staying with the research group ze was in this summer which is run by FamousRockstarProf and might actually get authorship on a paper before ze graduates.<br />
6)Find somewhere else to submit my MRS abstract, so I can actually give the talk I wanted to give<br />
<br />Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-8534549128600587992012-08-24T15:03:00.002-04:002012-08-24T15:03:21.782-04:00On PIs Giving TalksSo the abstract I submitted to the MRS Fall Meeting seems to have gotten upgraded to an invited talk, which made me super excited. But in talking to my PI, it seems one of the session chairs had contacted him, and upgraded it under the assumption he would be speaking (which he never mentioned to me before the official acceptance notices came out). However, I wrote the abstract, everything we're proposing to present in the abstract is my work, and frankly, I give a pretty good presentation. We're the only authors on it. Also, if I'm not presenting, I can't get funding to go.<br />
<br />
So instead of looking like I get to give a really awesome talk on all the cool shit I do at a meeting I've never gotten to go to, my advisor is going to give it instead, and I'm not even going to get to go. Having sat through his presentations on my data before, this really worries me, because he gets things wrongs, or claims things are definitive that are really not decisive at all. I was really excited about this, so it's a hell of downer to end my week on.<br />
<br />
Is it usual for students to be upset when PIs give talks on their behalf, or am I being weirdly possessive about this?Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-73393518716713096422012-08-23T10:21:00.000-04:002012-08-23T10:21:10.336-04:00Happy Dance!After two years of waiting for my advisor two read it and one round of revisions, my manuscript has been accepted!!Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-40164167651937723452012-08-22T14:44:00.000-04:002012-08-22T14:44:22.789-04:00Posts ElsewhereToday, I give advice to incoming graduate students over at <a href="http://engineerblogs.org/2012/08/so-youre-starting-grad-school/">Engineer Blogs. </a> Admitedly, half or more of it is basically "don't do what I did", but shh...Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-57118902551463827552012-08-14T12:03:00.000-04:002012-08-14T12:03:11.322-04:00Outreach & CVsA question for the professors in the audience: how would you classify/interpret outreach curriculum development on a CV for someone interested in teaching positions?<br />
<br />
To clarify, I'm currently working on putting together several panel modules of demonstration experiments to present at next year's local steampunk convention. I'll be working heavily from the materials I got from volunteering at Teacher Camp, but I'm really trying to orient it towards my audience, so there will be a lot of customization. All in all, I'm hoping to do 3-4 panels this year, and add more variety as there is interest in future years. It's not a traditional outreach audience, as the K-12 members of the audience will likely be the minority.<br />
<br />
My program offers fairly limited opportunities to teach, and pretty much no opportunities to develop courses. I was able to snag one of the few TA positions where you get any chance to lecture, and have more interaction with students than answering homework questions at recitation. I see this both as a way to get more practice teaching and a way to share my knowledge with an interested audience (I'm developing these panels at the request of some non-sciency friends).<br />
<br />
Is there anything I should try and do to document these? Specific feedback I should ask for? Should outreach even be on my CV?Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-22866828699133585802012-08-06T14:01:00.000-04:002012-08-06T14:01:32.105-04:00Comparing Paths to Grad SchoolI got to go to dinner last night with a friend from high school/ undergrad. He's also doing the grad school shtick, but for very different reasons, so it's very interesting to compare our experiences. He couldn't find a job after graduation, so applied to a master's program. He's already TA'ed for more time than I likely will in my entire program, and is on a much smaller stipend in a more expensive city. He's got one eye on the door, and would be willing to leave for a job if it came along.<br />
<br />
I knew in middle school that I wanted my PhD, and have planned a lot of things accordingly. Because I'm planning to stick it out, I'm much more concerned about my relationship with my advisor, and much more willing to work long hours. He's currently on a three week road trip, something I couldn't imagine doing at this point in my PhD program (mostly because there's rarely a window long enough). On the other hand, even as much as I struggle with my advisor, I seem to enjoy the day-to-day aspects of my work more than he does. While changing advisors has crossed my mind, leaving altogether almost never has.<br />
<br />
Right now, he's getting paid very little for something he's not really enjoying, and probably will be doing for another year until he can get a degree out of it. I've probably got another 3ish years, and even on days where I get frustrated with my work, I'm frustrated because I care a lot about what I'm doing and want it to work.<br />
<br />
Maybe grad school was the right choice after all?<br />
<br />
<br />Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-931229053785314543.post-462318249352074472012-07-24T09:10:00.008-04:002012-07-24T09:10:52.114-04:00Give Teachers a ChanceSince moving to GiantU, I've been able to help out with the ASM Teacher Camp program. This year, due to scheduled server outages, I was able to help for a larger portion of the week. The program combines time in the classroom with time in the lab. One of the things I noticed this year was the emphasis on how to bring these new concepts to class for as little money as possible.<br />
<br />
Many of these teachers, after replacing broken glassware, getting safety gear, and ordering basics, have roughly 1$ per student left to bring demos into class. The equipment budget of a single graduate student in my department pretty much dwarfs their annual budget for 100+ kids. These teachers are amazingly resourceful with what limited money they have. There are apparently hundreds of things you can do with a 3$ box of borax.<br />
<br />
This program receives lots of donations from companies, and at the end of the week, the teachers get a goody bag with all sorts of supplies to do these demos, and lists of the cheapest places to find supplies. For some of them, this bag is what makes it possible to bring what they've learned at camp back to their classes at all. Even so, limited supplies mean students will only be able to watch, not do.<br />
<br />
So if we really want to get more kids interested in the STEM fields, let's start with giving their teachers a fighting chance. Programs like <a href="http://www.donorschoose.org/">Donors Choose</a> are a way to reach out to specific classrooms. But if wonks in Washington are really serious about getting more young people interested in science, give their science teachers a fighting chance, and a budget to buy enough supplies for hands-on experiments, not just a few demonstrations.<br />
<br />
<br />Miss MSEhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06529587231142371243noreply@blogger.com0